Friday, February 4, 2011

überwechselnd=crossing over



This post is dedicated to Ariel Lawson. No matter how long since your physical being left us, your spirit resounds in our hearts. Thoughts of you help me breath, learn, and think in some of the most critical moments. You have taught me that strength and goodness of heart surpass death. 
I love you.


On the way to work this morning, I had one of those striking moments of collective satisfaction. My goodness, I can only be grateful. These moments have not been seldom, rather they occur on a consistent basis, sparked by cohesive beauty such as united meaning in thought and present experience. Sitting meditatively, listening to Xavier Nadoo's 'Der Kreis' (if you don't know his music, find it!), my thoughts wandered as they often do to love. My waves of thought drifted from Gabe to my mother, friends to relatives, Ariel to uncovering new love for myself. A French couch-surfer I met the other night said it best; first you must deeply love another person, then yourself, and finally mankind. However, I believe this order ist egal, it is only a matter of experiencing acceptance of self and other. My time in Germany is teaching me many things, but in particular daily experiences reinforce the love for fellow man.


Today I was correcting texts of 10th graders that are reguarded as 'weak students'; the prompt being: what will happen in the future? Reading through grammar mistakes, their message was clearly present. One especially was remarkably poignant and beautiful. This student normally sits quietly, reserved to answer due to a prominent speech impediment. Most days I observe his eyes to measure where and how his attention is being held. As I was correcting his assignment his eyes were on my reaction. Immediately I could see the thought, effort and time put into his answer. What will his future bring? He wants to have a good job, wife, a son and two daughters. He wrote about his siblings, parents, and about his own heart failure. Punkt. Pulling my heart deeper, his last sentence was his desire to return to the school in three years to visit his teachers. No matter how long we share this earth with others, we want to be loved, we want others to be proud of us. My own future holds many uncertainties, where I will go after this year, what will I pursue...etc.; and yet it is so good to realize I am normal, that questioning and uncertainty is a familiar part of each individual's life. 



The only certainty is that life continues to move. It is amazing to me how one day I will be looking forward to a specific event, and before I know it that event it over and I'm concentrating on the next bridge. However, I have been conscious about enjoying my time as it comes and embracing walking over the bridge that is underneath my feet, not solely the next one on the horizon. In this manner I can only give you a brief synopsis of my wonderful winter break back to the states. I laughed, loved, and shared wonderful party moments with friends. Okay specifics: After a few days jet-lag recover time, Gabe and I flew to Minnesota for Christmas. As usual, time back in MN consists of the hustle and bustle to see friends and family, and although it kept me on my toes, to connect with loved ones is utterly beautiful. I especially cherished seeing my brother, Vicki, Kinsey, Mary Bildsoe, the Carlson Clan, Molly, and some of Gabe's friends. Fortunately too, my break was filled with cousin-time! Gabe and I spent Christmas with my Aunt Margo and Uncle Mike, Monica and Shawna (cousins that are more like sisters), and then celebrated with the family at Monica and Mike's engagement party. The next day was back to New York- we amazingly returned safely and swiftly amid the drastic winter weather.


Back in New York we hunkered into our warm routine of seeing friends, enjoying each other and the city. How lovely to still walz into Outpost Cafe and be greeted by workers who've been waiting for your return, or to visit the Lyons to have the kids immediately and affectionately climbing all over me. These are the best parts of returning to the old familiar. My Shawna brought a little more sunshine to the city by visiting over New Year's. Avoiding the Times Square Crowd, we watched fireworks from a Queen's rooftop at our friend Abby's incredible house. Good time, good times. Other phenomial aspects: seeing Lydia, Rozana, Janeen.... the whole crew, and a special visit from Pat Weise and his mom. Returning to Germany brought a less intense parting because 1. Gabe and I will be romantically reunited in Istanbul in April and 2. I am overjoyed to be able to continue my work, study, and life here in Germany for another few months. 


Tom, Rick, myself,
our Couchsurfing host Charlie, and Doug
Celine and I practice our skating moves!
Another note to add: 
I took a trip to Paris with a group of good friends from Gießen. Our adventurer friend, Doug Donnellan was flying from Paris, leaving Gießen after settling for down for a few months. He is quite an inspirational fellow, spending the last year traveling the world filming a documentary on Geo-tourism (it's great, check out EcoTravel Media). I will miss his constant energy and positivity here, but I have a feeling our travels will reconnect us at some point. So, we took a road trip, the boys and I, and made it to Paris to spend an incredible weekend. My lasting memory too of this journey was a special Ameliesque day spent with my dear friend Celine Mancel. Since I have no phone we arranged a surprise meeting. We only knew where: at the Sacre-Coeur Basilica when: 9am  and how: in costumes. We toured around the city stopping for chi gong in the park, ice skating and naturally a cafe visit. Beautiful, beautiful day. 


Well, I'm off to Heidelberg today for the Fulbright Ball, so I must pack. I am sure there will be plenty of commentary about this elegant weekend, but I can only tell you about the journey after I've crossed over the bridge. My parting wish for you is that you have the courage to change, and to move toward recognition of love and equality in every new situation that arises.

von ganzem Herzen,
Kyra